Monday, January 30, 2006

weddings: the anti-savings

so, i've been thinking a lot about money lately....i know, not much like me, but its taken up much of my thoughts since i stated planning my wedding. and my conclusion is weddings are freaking expensive in the u.s. but does that justify me joining in with everyone and spending an extravogant amount of money? i mean the wedding is essentially about the covenant between stephen me and God? so why am i expected to pay thousands of dollars to make it the most wonderful day of my life? eating some cake and sipping on $30 per bowl punch aren't whats making it a huge landmark in life. i'm just don't think i can have a broken heart over the 25 thousand children that starve to death everyday and justify spending $800 on a wedding dress. and am i the only one who thinks its a little outrageous that to spend 45 minutes in a church is going to cost me $600 hundred dollars? its not adding up to me how the body of Christ puts such a high price on a wedding ceremony. aren't we supposed to give without expecting anything in return? stand apart from the world? not join in the lie that good means expensive? is anyone else confused about any of this? what to do? cut the guest list, only invite close friends to save on costs? or rebel against the whole thing and just go to the court house? or just go along with what everyone else is telling me, that its ok to spend all that money on a wedding?how am i exemplifying a lifestyle of simplicity that i think believers are called to by having a wedding that is the cultural norm? and how do i help the people around me to understand this? how do i tell my parents who want to pay for all of this so that i can have a beautiful wedding, that the gift they're offering me isn't what i want or believe is right for me?feel free to answer any of the ba-zillion questions i've rambled.

1 comment:

Schellhase said...


I don't know how sound my thinking is on this point, but this idea may be helpful.

When the woman poured the expensive perfume on Jesus' feet and washed them with her hair, the disciples questioned her act. But he said, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing for me. The poor you will always have with you..." (Matthew 26:10-11a). Though the money could have been used for the poor, Jesus allows this huge expense, because it shows a pure and holy devotion to him.

I think something similar could be applied to your marriage ceremony, including the expenses for the dress, the ring you're wearing, and the other costs. The poor are always going to be there, and I know both you and Stephen are committed to loving them. On your wedding day - as an act of worship to our Savior, whose glory your union will declare in a way that no other symbol on earth declares - enjoy the festivities. I have worshipped at every wedding I've gone to. (The point that always gets me is the presenation of the bride; I think: Christ has made us THAT beautiful? Amazing!) Perhaps your wedding ceremony, where many people will gather, could be beautiful to Jesus in the same way as the anointing he received from that precious woman. Jesus tells us that wherever the gospel is preached her story will be told as well.

That's my thought. You're right to want to be wise with your money, but don't let that strip away your joy and your freedom - joy and freedom that Christ himself has purchased through his death and sealed through his resurrection.