Sunday, March 04, 2007

i'm totally overposting myself

this is an excerpt from the last email i wrote before leaving india in '05, i feel like it explains the way i feel now much better than my pervious post, "i'm unbelievable".

i belong in both places, but they seem worlds apart. and my two worlds are very different. how do i not abandon one for the other? how am i to bridge these two worlds? no matter how i turn it my worlds don't fit together. i can't figure out how to live in them both, my heart is torn for them. where do i stand to befriend both the rich and the poor, and how do i attempt to bridge that gap? especially when i'm not that good at living in either world?

please forgive me for my self-righteousness.
forgive me for my judgment on your wealth when it is mine as well.
forgive me for looking down on systems that perpetuate poverty, when i participate in them as well.
Lord teach us to live simply, so that others may simply live.
please forgive me for my wealth when it contributes to your wants.
forgive me for buying more when when i really needed less.
forgive me for eating too much when a few bites was all you wanted but never tasted.
forgive me for for considering you lazy when my business kept me from getting to know who you really are.

please i ask you to forgive me.


Compston said...

I remember reading that email the first time. Still beats me up inside.

erinelizabeth said...

it brings my heart great joy to be around someone who longs to be overseas as i do. i'm so thankful to have you as such a big part of my life. keep speaking your heart, friend, because i love to hear it!

Shelli said...

Right there with ya babe! I do NOT want to be in America any longer. I'm ready to be serving overseas.