these are two of my favorite old school videos.

very cheesy i know, but funny in their own way.

a good example of what jesus isn't.



baby got book.

mother teresa

while i don't agree with all of her theology i feel that mother teresa was a wonderful women and did a great deal to personify the compassion of Jesus. while i was working in nirmal hriday, her original home for the dying, i heard this story.

one day mother asked two volunteers to go and find a certain man that often came to her home for medical care and food. he hadn't been seen a while and she wanted to give him some food and make sure he was alright. after searching the volunteers found the man; he was filthy, covered in trash and his own excrement. the volunteers brought him back to the home and began to clean him up, dumping buckets of water over him. mother came outside and pulled them away from him; she sat him on her own lap and bathed him. her first priority was not to feed or heal, but to love him.

i have a plethora of her quotes, but this is one of my favorites.
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

nervous

i'm sitting in my apartment as my heart beats a little too fast feeling nervous. i've had a hankering to play ultimate frisbee lately and on monday i was complaining to ben casey that i hadn't found anyone to play with when he said that his coed intramural team had a few spots open, so i'm playing with them tonight. i'm not great at frisbee but i'm not bad, i fall in the category of she's good, for a girl. but as today wore on and i kept thinking about playing with a team that i don't know, save ben and maria, i've been getting nervous. so now i sit here in my apartment waiting for maria to pick me up. i have this fear that i am going to show up and everyone on the team will be incredible and i'll lose the game for them, even though maria told me that the team is really laid back.
oh well, there's maria, gotta go.

memories...

there is beauty in india

the boy who cried mo' fo'

this is my favorite comedian,mike birbiglia, i thought i'd share a little laughter with you all.

i'm totally overposting myself

this is an excerpt from the last email i wrote before leaving india in '05, i feel like it explains the way i feel now much better than my pervious post, "i'm unbelievable".

i belong in both places, but they seem worlds apart. and my two worlds are very different. how do i not abandon one for the other? how am i to bridge these two worlds? no matter how i turn it my worlds don't fit together. i can't figure out how to live in them both, my heart is torn for them. where do i stand to befriend both the rich and the poor, and how do i attempt to bridge that gap? especially when i'm not that good at living in either world?

please forgive me for my self-righteousness.

forgive me for my judgment on your wealth when it is mine as well.

forgive me for looking down on systems that perpetuate poverty, when i participate in them as well.

Lord teach us to live simply, so that others may simply live.

please forgive me for my wealth when it contributes to your wants.

forgive me for buying more when when i really needed less.

forgive me for eating too much when a few bites was all you wanted but never tasted.

forgive me for for considering you lazy when my business kept me from getting to know who you really are.

please i ask you to forgive me.

i'm unbelievable

i have been sufering from i really don't want to be hereness for the last week or two, i really shouldn't be complaining, not many people go through bouts of inner turmoil over having to stay in america. stephen and i will celebrate our first anniversary in may, he will graduate and has been accepted to law school, well he's been accepted to arkansas so far, and i'll graduate with a degree i love in december, but i'm really struggling with the idea of living in the states for at least another four years. God has made it so clear that he's going to take me overseas and i want to go, now.
life overseas, in india at least, is hard, but there is a beautiful reliance on God when he is the only stable thing in your life; and i've yet to have that while in america. i know i can't rush God's time and it was his plan for stephen to go to law school. He is good, i can see that. i do need him and he is working in me, i'm hard to satisfy. sometimes my life here which consistes of school, work, and complaining that i don't get to see stephen enough feels like i'm not doing anything of value. i'm shocked by my own selfishness, God has been so good to me as to prepare me to go overseas and he's even made it the desire of my heart, and what do i do? complain that i'm still here living the easy comfortable life. i'm unbelievable.