i'm unbelievable

i have been sufering from i really don't want to be hereness for the last week or two, i really shouldn't be complaining, not many people go through bouts of inner turmoil over having to stay in america. stephen and i will celebrate our first anniversary in may, he will graduate and has been accepted to law school, well he's been accepted to arkansas so far, and i'll graduate with a degree i love in december, but i'm really struggling with the idea of living in the states for at least another four years. God has made it so clear that he's going to take me overseas and i want to go, now.
life overseas, in india at least, is hard, but there is a beautiful reliance on God when he is the only stable thing in your life; and i've yet to have that while in america. i know i can't rush God's time and it was his plan for stephen to go to law school. He is good, i can see that. i do need him and he is working in me, i'm hard to satisfy. sometimes my life here which consistes of school, work, and complaining that i don't get to see stephen enough feels like i'm not doing anything of value. i'm shocked by my own selfishness, God has been so good to me as to prepare me to go overseas and he's even made it the desire of my heart, and what do i do? complain that i'm still here living the easy comfortable life. i'm unbelievable.